I Belong

I belong to a world where everyone is always being judged based on what nationality they are, what they are wearing, or even what size they are. It does not matter what race the person is, everyone is judging someone else. In my world, people say that you should be proud of what and how you are. However, people constantly judge you on that every day and everywhere you go. My world says that size does not matter, but you see size in every day media. When you are watching a movie or a fashion show, you constantly see skinny, beautiful women. You very rarely see someone that is a plus size. In this world, girls and women are the ones being pressured the most. They have to act, look, and be a certain way in the society. I belong to world, where skinnier women are put on a pedestal and young girls around six or seven are having eating disorders and going on diets at such a young age for them. Young girls should not be worrying about their body at that age. They should be free and enjoying being a kid.

I belong to this world so I did have problems with eating disorders and my weight. I considered myself overweight when I was little. I did not care back then. It was around 6th grade that reality hit me. I managed to lose a lot of weight without even trying. Like all girls, I wanted to look pretty and follow the latest trends. I knew that if I was skinny, that I would feel beautiful. I went through a few eating disorders. They were not severe, because I never had it in me to go to the extremes. I did try, but it was harder than you think. I tried forcing the food back out, but I just could not do it. Everywhere I go, I see skinny models. I belong to a world, where looks are everything. Even when people say the opposite, they mean another thing.

I belong to a world that is so complicated and so confusing to live in. Sometimes I do not know where I really stand in this world. To me this world is hard to live up to their expectations. I belong to a world that is not perfect but I still want to fit in. I follow the latest trends; catch up on the latest gossips of celebrities, I try so hard to fit in.

I belong to a world where people are trying their best to change. They want to be different and be willing to accept new thing that come their way. However, in the world I belong to, some people are not willing to open up to new ideas, mostly Caucasians people. They are not willing to accept the different ethnicities in the world. They make fun of the different culture and whenever I hear anything about any culture, I start to feel uncomfortable.

I still do not like being in history class, whenever we study about Asia. Most people mistake me for Chinese or Japanese. For instance, my sophomore year we watched a Chinese movie, in Chinese with sub-titles. This person next to me asked me what they were saying. I told him I did not know. It kind of irritated me because he has asked me about that when he studied footbinding in China. It does not bother me much when people mistake me as Chinese but it was just the way he sounded to me. I knew he did not mean to be mean or anything, but I just felt irritated. While we were watching the movie, he was mimicking how Chinese people spoke. It was embarrassing.

I belong to this world to this world. A world that is not perfect, but it is where I belong. This world where everything and everyone are not what they seem.